wanna take a little time and review a song that brings love under scrutiny and
gives anyone who wants to be sincere, some perspective on the phenomenon called
love. Love as we now know it is a foreign import. The way love is practised in
Africa has changed greatly. Thanks to the different influences that have
"helped" to beat it out or into shape depending on what you define love to be.
Even the Oyibos that we burrowed all the love nwantiti from, confess they
equally are at a loss as to what love truly is.
Just so you don't bother
yourself with trying to see my point, I will explain.
Did you know that
some people in the Western world, have ended a marriage of 2 months or less
because their partners snored? And they could not take it anymore. Doesn't that
make you want to ask if they did not spend nights together before they got
married? And even if they did not, isn't the marriage a reason to tolerate the
midnight orchestra? And is a snore not too small a reason to pack it in? Do they
know what Nigerians tolerate? Snore? Pulliiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzz!
I can just
imagine the case coming up in a court. Let's say the Judge instructs the clerk
to call the next case and it is the case of Adekoya vs Adekoya. The wife is
seeking divorce on no other grounds but that the husband snores. If its Justice
Vivor, I bet he will smile, lean back and ask the wife seeking that the marriage
be set aside...
JUSTICE VIVOR: "Seriously? You are in my court to ask for
your marriage to be dissolved because your husband snores?"
WIFE: "Yes my
Lord."
JUSTICE VIVOR: "Are you ok?"
WIFE'S COUNSEL: "Me Lord, my
client has suffered so many sleepless nights...?"
JUSTICE VIVOR: "This
case has been thrown out for gross waste of time. Next matter!"
How on
earth do some people come up with the crazy reasons we are hearing as cause for
filling for divorce? Sometime back, a lady, who had been married for only 6
months, moved out of her matrimonial home because one of her husband's ex
girlfriends called to ask how he was doing. He did not know she had moved to the
UK(who knows, maybe to cool of and let the marriage thing blow over)so he picked
the call, found out who it was and exchanged greetings. How is your wife? How is
marriage? Work? Friends? Trying to be polite, he said he was fine and that he
appreciated the call. And for him, it was an unexpected call since she was the
semi finalist. Soon as he hung up, wifey asked who it was and he told her. She
got up from his lap and went upstairs. All his explanations came to nought. 2
days later, she moved out.
Guess what? They both have moved on. If our
parents moved out like that would some of us have been born? Our parents and
even friends these days, have issues that are greater that what some of us count
as irreconcilable differences.
Let me further shock you, an AUNTY told a
niece not to take any crap from any man. Don't let them use you as foot mat.
Stand your ground. Speak up. Don't be intimidated. And she did just that. Spoke
up. Stood her ground. Was bold and did not take crap. She moved out of her 1
year old marriage. And moved on. The guy begged for 1 year and moved on. Guy now
has 3 kids with his new wife. THIS IS NOT TO SAY LADIES SHOULD TAKE CRAP BUT
WHEN THE REASON FOR BREAKING IT UP IS SOMETHING LIKE "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DROP
THE TOILET SEAT"... there is a problem.
I was shocked the other day that
a man said he was no longer interested in a marriage because his wife insulted
his elder sister. Much as I find that unacceptable, it is not enough grounds to
say, shikena! I have seen wives who got into a physical fights with their
sisters in law and the wive thoroughly beat and nearly drained the blood that
bound the husbands to their sisters out of their body. Heavens did not fall. But
it nearly did. But it didn't.
So before I move on with the matter at
hand, let me share the lyrics of Foreigner's song with you.
Foreigner I
Want To Know What Love Is Lyrics
Songwriters: PARKS, ALEX / TZUKE, JUDIE
/ KEARNS, GRAHAM PATRICK
I gotta take a little time
A little time to
think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when
I'm older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah
Now this mountain I must climb
Feels
like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It
keeps me warm as life grows colder
In my life there's been heartache and
pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so
far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you
to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah
woah-oh-ooh
I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around
me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I've got nowhere left to hide
It looks like
love has finally found me
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I
don't know if I can face it again
I can't stop now, I've traveled so
far
To change this lonely life
I wanna know what love is
I want you
to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna
know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel
what love is
And I know, I know you can show me
Let's talk about
love
(I wanna know what love is) the love that you feel inside
(I want you
to show me) I'm feeling so much love
(I wanna feel what love is) no, you just
cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh
I wanna know what
love is, let's talk about love
(I want you to show me) I wanna feel it
too
(I wanna feel what love is) I wanna feel it too
And I know, and I
know, I know you can show me
Show me what is real, woah (woah), yeah I
know
(I wanna know what love is) hey I wanna know what love
(I want you to
show me), I wanna know, I wanna know, want know
(I wanna feel what love is),
hey I wanna feel, love
I know you can show me, yeah
What is the role
of love in all of the things going on in our relationships these days? Why has
love not been able to hold marriages together anymore? Why are people falling in
love but many can't even feel the love they so desire?
Guess what? LOVE
WAS NOT THE ANSWER. We all got fooled. I have talked with so many people, people
who have been married for much longer than I have been alive. And they have been
kind enough to share with me that it's the combination of a lot of things that
make up love. That back then they liked a person and gradually they found out
that all the things the person did for them was because