Spreading it out
What’s all this for? This clothing is obviously ill-fitting and this show of flesh is so tacky. Please, dress your shape, for crying out loud. This is too dumpy, frumpy, sloppy and mismatched. You are fined N2.5million and no appeal, please.
SEE PICTURES AND FULL DESCRIPTIONS OF TODAYS SUN FASHION POLICE HERE
SEE VARIOUS EDITIONS OF SUN SUNDAY FASHION POLICE HERE
Haba!
When you are too fashion-forward you get exhausted. We can’t explain why you let your b00bs hang out like this. Have you forgotten what the moral code says? Haba! Will some guy still pay full bride price after this show? With all the authority vested in this court, you have been pronounced guilty and sentenced to three months at mallam factori where you will be milking cows. We are so sure that after doing this you will appreciate your tits better. You have an option of N8million fine though.
Zebra crossing
Big sis, this is a cross-examination session and we need to ask you if this is dressing as we know it ? Is this your actual size? Honestly, we hate how you marred this beautiful dress, especially with that zebra crossing on your shoulder. You are fined N5million
Mini act
For sitting carelessly in a public place, you flouted section 423 of the Mini Code. Displaying what should be secluded for every Ahmed, Obi and Dele is highly unacceptable in this court. With all the power vested in this court, you are sentenced to six months at Kuje prison with no option of fine.
Turn off
We were tempted to ask you if everything was all right, because there is nothing glamorous about what you are wearing. Madam, this look is a complete turn off. Really, you’ve got no business wearing that clingy strapless dress with that pair of b00bs. You look like you’ve tucked in two dead cat fish down there. For that deep well on your chest, we need not dig deeper. Pay N7 million.
